长假

难得一次长假不外出,于是我说闭关。

要真正闭恐怕也不可能,间中总要见见朋友,不过总体来说,这个假期过得相当悠闲。

三号陪朋友陪了一天,在金顶轩吃完早茶,下午跑到蓝旗营的豆瓣书店买了一大堆书,然后就跑到对面的醒客咖啡看了一下午的书。我发现了一个适合我的阅读方法,就是同时买几本同主题的书,然后在短时间内读完,这种方式可称为主题泛读,对于拓展知识面应该会有好处。这次买的书以科普为主,自从中学毕业以来,自己已经没有大量地阅读过科普图书了,所以正好趁国庆长假做个科普主题泛读,恶补一下。

在一个人的长假里,好像真的没什么非做不可的。放假前曾想到,今年是我来北京的整整第十个年头,不妨到那几个我当年留恋的地点看看,感受一下物是人非。后来觉得矫情,古人早就说透了:“旧游无处不堪寻,无处寻,唯有少年心”,你还费那个劲瞎找什么呀,不过是自己骗自己的唏嘘罢了。于是作罢,转身随便跳上一辆公交,随便下,随便换,不易快哉。

不过安静中总会有回顾的心情。我翻开年初一篇未发表的日志,标题是“今年要思考的几个问题”,总共五个,四个是关于自我和内在的,一个是关于外在的。隔了大半年,现在看来居然还解决得不错。例如第一个问题“我为什么容易紧张?”和第四个问题“我为什么无法专心?”,以前我能理解到的原因是我不自信,那么不自信的原因又是什么?最近我终于慢慢觉察到了,不自信的原因是我不知道自己是富足的。这大概是从小的中国式教育所导致的,相信很多人也有同样的心病。因为以为自己是贫乏的,所以才会向外要求,才会害怕批评和失去。而如今,我更多会尝试挖掘和看到自己已经有的那一面,这让我感到从容和快乐。

又如第二个问题:“我如何和自己的身体相处?”我一直觉得自己没有善待自己的身体,忽略它,回避它。今年开始慢慢培养自己的作息和饮食习惯,例如:早睡早起,坚持吃早餐,细嚼慢咽,晚饭少吃或不吃,早起和睡前打坐等等。现在我可以很自豪地宣布:比起去年,我的体重减轻了十多斤,现在已经稳定在130斤左右。想当年,自从毕业后体重在两年内从120飞快地突破130之后,我还一直以为减到130是不可能的呢。

PS. 乔布斯今天去世了。比起哀痛,我更多是震惊:这对我们是一个多么好的开示呀。生命苦短,你应该追逐自己的梦想。谢谢你,乔布斯。

长假》上有3条评论

  1. 我不自信的另一个原因是,总是拿自己和别人比较,没办法专注在当下和自己的身心,患得患失。向你学习吧,先开始善待身体。

  2. 看到这篇,我回想起来,当我问“我为什么自卑?”这个问题时,也促使我走向内在的探索。而后,才慢慢越来越多地理解——本性圆满(虽然目前还无法全然的接纳自己与别人)。

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